Countering Meanness with Kindness

FriendsWhen someone is having a bad day, they may lash out at you just because you are there, not because you had done anything to invoke their anger. It is unfortunate when someone behaves in this manner; however, we are all human and, at times, our emotions get the best of us.

Reasons behind Hurtful Behavior and Our Reactions
Exhaustion, highly stressful situations, feelings of oppression, rejection, and other strongly negative contributing factors make us more susceptible to lashing out at whoever is within our vicinity. The longer a person is subjected to negative conditions, the more distraught they may become. In fact, they may not even seem to behave like themselves because they are having a hard time moving beyond a state of distress. Your instinctive response may be to fire back at the person in an effort to protect or defend yourself. This is because you may feel threatened in some way by their behavior, as anger can be perceived as an attack. It is under these conditions that people on the receiving end of a person’s negative and uncharacteristic behavior should try to take a step back before replying with more anger, which may lead to an escalated exchange of negative energies, as well as damaged or broken relationships.

Assess the Situation before Reacting
Before responding, try to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view. What is going on with them that they would lash out at you for what seems to be no reason? This behavior can be a cry for help. It can also be that this person is harboring a lot of negative feelings within themselves that they are having a hard time handling. A person who lashes out is usually feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and stress, and like anything else, that pressure needs to be relieved or it will cause an explosion. Instead of responding with anger that will feed into the existing pressure, do your best to respond with kindness and compassion, even if the person does not appreciate it at the time. In this way, you may stop the escalation of anger and prevent it from infecting you. Your understanding and empathy may be the very act of kindness this person needs to relieve their stress and realize just how badly they were behaving toward others who did not deserve it.

Ask for Assistance from Above
If you are having difficulty dispensing kindness in the face of someone else’s hurtful behavior, ask your heavenly support team to help you to increase your compassion toward others. In addition, ask them to help the person who is in distress, as they are the ones most in need of assistance. Send the distressed person love and light from your heart and spirit, and request that they receive the healing they need to relieve them of the distress and pent up anger in order to live a happy and satisfied life.

What Is Inside of You?
If you find it is you who is lashing out at others and walking around with anger in your heart and mind, then it is time to take an in-depth look at what is really bothering you, and apologize, if possible, to those that you hurt.

To discover what is going on, the first step is recognizing and identifying the true problem. For example, getting extremely angry at your partner for leaving their socks on the floor after asking them several times not to, may only be a surface trigger that signals the existence of a deeper problem, such as of a sense of not being heard or appreciated at work and at home. Often, it is miscommunications and misunderstandings that lead to problems within relationships. By examining and uncovering the true problems, you can begin to work on positive solutions to heal them.

The second step is to look for solutions that will improve the circumstances that are causing the problems. Are there actions you can take to improve your situation or remove yourself from it? If not, are there ways that you can change the way that you perceive the situations that will ease your emotional pain? It may seem as if there is no way out and that the problems are formidable; however, that line of thinking can be the product of limited thinking that is boxed in by only seeing the problem. Try your best to get past step one, and open your mind to various solutions. There are other options available. They may not always appear to be the options you want to take; however, if you can let go of your anger and stress long enough to clear your mind, you may discover that the options may lead you to better opportunities. Be sure to ask others for help. Brainstorm ideas with respected friends, family members, or colleagues. By being truthful with yourself and others as you go through this process, you will not only help yourself on a human level, but also on a soul level, as you evolve and develop through these empowering experiences.

The third step is to be kind to yourself. If you are working to the point of exhaustion, take a step back. A break from the stressful situations will allow you time to refresh and look at situations with a more relaxed state of mind. Most important of all, ask your heavenly support team of God, the archangels, past spiritual masters, spirit guides, and loved ones in spirit, to help you. They are eager to lend a hand, and will do so if you ask for their assistance and are open to receiving their help. Sometimes, too, when you leave an opening for your heavenly support team to help out, they may just solve the problem for you through the presentation of new opportunities.

Multiply the Kindness in the World
As you go throughout your day, keep in mind that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we are all doing the best we can under the circumstances that affect our lives. By countering meanness with kindness, we provide opportunities to make positive contributions that have the potential to bring healing to our lives and the lives of others.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Reacting Positively to Negative Circumstances

Cooperation

A healthy relationship is based on understanding, cooperation, and communication.

We were put here on this earth to help each other. Not everyone understands this concept. Turmoil erupts when fear overtakes emotions, driving people to take action based on such negative emotions as jealousy, greed, and selfishness. Instead of responding in kind with anger, we can break the chain of negativity by countering such behavior with understanding and kindness.

It is very challenging at times to counter negativity with positive actions because our own shock and pain need to be dealt with before we can proceed. Sometimes our first instinct is to lash out at the person or people who hurt us. If anger or pain is coloring your thoughts, take a few steps back from the source of the negativity. Look at the situation from all points of view through an honest assessment of the behaviors of both you and the party involved that led to the problem. Come up with ideas for solutions that would create the most positive resolutions for everyone involved.

First and foremost, be honest with yourself and the other person or people involved. Set up a time to talk about the situation from a standpoint of trying to resolve it in the most positive way for all. Present your ideas, actively listen to the feedback you receive, work through the issue by allowing each person to express their thoughts, and do your best to move past the problem. Remember to extend forgiveness and to release the issue, knowing that it has been resolved.

If in your contemplation or discussions, you realize that the best solution would be to end the relationship due to unreconcilable differences, bring it to close with kindness, grace, and honor. Wish them well, pray for their health and happiness, and move on with your life.

When you have your own moments of behaving badly, apologize to the person you hurt. Let them know that you are sorry and mean it by not repeating the same negative or hurtful behavior. This will go a long way toward mending your relationship. Forgive yourself, too. We are all human and make mistakes. But to be a better person, we need to learn from our mistakes and we need to treat ourselves and others with kindness.

Try to be the best person that you can be despite the turmoil around you. Take the high road and choose to counter negative situations with positive reactions. We cannot control all of the events that occur in our lives, nor can we control the behaviors of others. We can control our own actions and reactions, though, and decide to look beyond the negative behaviors of others by displaying understanding, kindness and grace in the face of adversity and turmoil. By doing so, you will notice the peace and calm in your own life. At the same time, you will be showing others that fears and turmoil are often based on misunderstandings that can be resolved, or even prevented, with compassion and empathy. In this way, we fulfill our soul contracts to help each other as we live our lives on this earth.

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com