Countering Meanness with Kindness

FriendsWhen someone is having a bad day, they may lash out at you just because you are there, not because you had done anything to invoke their anger. It is unfortunate when someone behaves in this manner; however, we are all human and, at times, our emotions get the best of us.

Reasons behind Hurtful Behavior and Our Reactions
Exhaustion, highly stressful situations, feelings of oppression, rejection, and other strongly negative contributing factors make us more susceptible to lashing out at whoever is within our vicinity. The longer a person is subjected to negative conditions, the more distraught they may become. In fact, they may not even seem to behave like themselves because they are having a hard time moving beyond a state of distress. Your instinctive response may be to fire back at the person in an effort to protect or defend yourself. This is because you may feel threatened in some way by their behavior, as anger can be perceived as an attack. It is under these conditions that people on the receiving end of a person’s negative and uncharacteristic behavior should try to take a step back before replying with more anger, which may lead to an escalated exchange of negative energies, as well as damaged or broken relationships.

Assess the Situation before Reacting
Before responding, try to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view. What is going on with them that they would lash out at you for what seems to be no reason? This behavior can be a cry for help. It can also be that this person is harboring a lot of negative feelings within themselves that they are having a hard time handling. A person who lashes out is usually feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and stress, and like anything else, that pressure needs to be relieved or it will cause an explosion. Instead of responding with anger that will feed into the existing pressure, do your best to respond with kindness and compassion, even if the person does not appreciate it at the time. In this way, you may stop the escalation of anger and prevent it from infecting you. Your understanding and empathy may be the very act of kindness this person needs to relieve their stress and realize just how badly they were behaving toward others who did not deserve it.

Ask for Assistance from Above
If you are having difficulty dispensing kindness in the face of someone else’s hurtful behavior, ask your heavenly support team to help you to increase your compassion toward others. In addition, ask them to help the person who is in distress, as they are the ones most in need of assistance. Send the distressed person love and light from your heart and spirit, and request that they receive the healing they need to relieve them of the distress and pent up anger in order to live a happy and satisfied life.

What Is Inside of You?
If you find it is you who is lashing out at others and walking around with anger in your heart and mind, then it is time to take an in-depth look at what is really bothering you, and apologize, if possible, to those that you hurt.

To discover what is going on, the first step is recognizing and identifying the true problem. For example, getting extremely angry at your partner for leaving their socks on the floor after asking them several times not to, may only be a surface trigger that signals the existence of a deeper problem, such as of a sense of not being heard or appreciated at work and at home. Often, it is miscommunications and misunderstandings that lead to problems within relationships. By examining and uncovering the true problems, you can begin to work on positive solutions to heal them.

The second step is to look for solutions that will improve the circumstances that are causing the problems. Are there actions you can take to improve your situation or remove yourself from it? If not, are there ways that you can change the way that you perceive the situations that will ease your emotional pain? It may seem as if there is no way out and that the problems are formidable; however, that line of thinking can be the product of limited thinking that is boxed in by only seeing the problem. Try your best to get past step one, and open your mind to various solutions. There are other options available. They may not always appear to be the options you want to take; however, if you can let go of your anger and stress long enough to clear your mind, you may discover that the options may lead you to better opportunities. Be sure to ask others for help. Brainstorm ideas with respected friends, family members, or colleagues. By being truthful with yourself and others as you go through this process, you will not only help yourself on a human level, but also on a soul level, as you evolve and develop through these empowering experiences.

The third step is to be kind to yourself. If you are working to the point of exhaustion, take a step back. A break from the stressful situations will allow you time to refresh and look at situations with a more relaxed state of mind. Most important of all, ask your heavenly support team of God, the archangels, past spiritual masters, spirit guides, and loved ones in spirit, to help you. They are eager to lend a hand, and will do so if you ask for their assistance and are open to receiving their help. Sometimes, too, when you leave an opening for your heavenly support team to help out, they may just solve the problem for you through the presentation of new opportunities.

Multiply the Kindness in the World
As you go throughout your day, keep in mind that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we are all doing the best we can under the circumstances that affect our lives. By countering meanness with kindness, we provide opportunities to make positive contributions that have the potential to bring healing to our lives and the lives of others.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Set Yourself Free through Forgiveness

Set Yourself Free Through ForgivenessWhether it is painful events in the recent past or from as far back as childhood, emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma can be released from your spirit through forgiveness of the person or people involved, including yourself.

Complex Decisions and Challenging Situations
As spiritual beings on a human journey, we decided to live a lifetime on this earth to learn lessons that will enable us to grow as souls. Many of the lessons we have chosen require complex decisions and challenging situations that can have a significant impact on the evolvement of not only our souls, but also on the souls of others. Because we are in a stage of learning, and are not all-knowing beings, mistakes will be made. It is important to forgive each other for the mistakes we make and to look beyond the pain to the lessons that are built into the situations we encounter on a daily basis.

Reasons and Choices
In order for our souls to evolve to a clearer understanding of the reasons for our existence, it is necessary to face challenges that make us question and think about our self-worth, our relationships and connections with others, and whether or not there really is a higher power that guides us. The reason you experience tragic, sad, or disheartening events is not to drag you down, but to give you a choice. You can choose to let these situations mire you in negativity and self-pity, or you can choose see the blessings and lessons that God and the angels are assisting you with in order to open your heart, mind, and spirit to the truth that exists within your soul.

Why It Is Beneficial to Forgive
Forgiveness is an acknowledgement and a release of actions from the past that caused harm to yourself or others. Extending forgiveness does not mean that you are condoning the behavior that caused you or others harm. It means that you have come to terms with the situation and have made a conscious decision to release its hold on you. By recognizing that these events served a very important purpose in your soul evolvement, you can also learn how to express gratefulness for the lessons you learned. In order to do that though, you must be able to look beyond the pain in order to see how you were given the opportunity to grow as a soul. The rewards you receive for perceiving the patterns and lessons behind traumatizing events includes amazing enlightenment about yourself, others, and the universe as a whole, as well as a realization that these events were necessary steps toward achieving your dreams in this lifetime.

It is important to note that you do not have to be in someone’s presence in order to forgive them. You can extend forgiveness in your heart and mind by sending forgiving thoughts toward the situation and the people involved. Our connection in spirit with one another allows the messages to be received by the spirit of the person you are forgiving. The people that are here on earth may or may not be consciously aware of your message of forgiveness; however, the spirit that resides within them will have received and acknowledged the forgiveness you have extended.

What Happens When You Refuse to Forgive
Holding grudges, anger, and pain inside of yourself hurts you. Those negative emotions and thoughts prevent you from moving forward and draw toward you more unfortunate circumstances. When you are focused on the lower energies produced by fear and anger, you are dragging down your own energy. This will attract more situations to you that are harmful. By choosing to release negative emotions, you are releasing their hold on you. This will lighten your energetic load and free you up to attract more positive experiences in your life. Keep in mind that how you live your life is your choice. Whether you decide to remain mired in misery or rise above the challenges you face, it is the gift of free will that gives you the option to choose the path that you take.

If you need help extending forgiveness, you can ask the archangels for assistance. They will help you to release the negativity and heal the pain that you have been carrying.

Repetition May Be Necessary
Even after you have extended forgiveness, there may be times when a situation will appear in your life that will bring to the surface old pain and remembrances of harmful situations. When this happens, you can extend forgiveness again and visualize the situation and the people involved as healed.

Choosing to be Free
As you make the choice to free yourself from the past, you are also making the choice to open yourself up to love and more positive experiences. Your spirit will be lighter, and you may even feel as though a physical weight has been lifted from your body. Enjoy the benefits and freedom that comes from releasing your past, and shift your focus to the present—which is full of gifts and opportunities for making positive choices regarding your life path.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan
Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Reasons for Being

Peaceful SanctuaryThe theme that emerged from
Spirit this week revolved around life lessons and the reason why certain people enter into our lives.

We come here to this Earth to learn lessons that will help our souls to evolve. We choose what lessons we will learn before we are born into this world; however, the way in which the situations will come about are yet to be determined. While we are making these decisions, members of our soul group, as well as others, volunteer to help with certain lessons and you volunteer to help with theirs. This is what is known as a soul contract.

Certain people enter our lives to help us fulfill our soul contracts. For instance, someone may opt to pass away at the age of 27 in order to help members of their soul group to learn how to cope with tragedy, as well to understand that death is not the end of the Spirit because the love that connects us never dies.

Others may help us to learn to overcome the fear that holds us back from realizing our dreams. Most soul contracts involve a complex set of lessons that serve multiple purposes for multiple people. When we are born, the knowledge and awareness that we had about the contracts we made in Heaven is obscured from us. This is because it is part of our journey as a soul; to rediscover the reasons why we are here. The more we seek out the depth and breadth of this knowledge, the more in tune we are with our life purposes and can more readily see the lessons that we are learning and sharing.

Free will always plays a role in whether or not the lessons you have chosen to learn will be completed. That is why the way in which they come into your life is left to be decided by your choices. If you chose not to learn a particular lesson, whether consciously or subconsciously, it will come back to you repeatedly in this lifetime. For instance, if fear is blocking you from manifesting your dreams, situations will come up that will help to teach you about overcoming your fears such as conversations with others, books that you read, etc. (Note: The Angels and God are continuously giving you the tools you need to succeed with your soul’s evolvement. It is your choice whether or not to listen.) The time will come for you to put what you have learned into action. If you succeed, you will move forward onto the next lesson. If you do not, it will prevent you from moving forward in your life.

A prime example of this may be in someone you know, it may even be yourself. This person seems to struggle and be stuck in a pattern, whether it be harmful relationships, addictions, negative thinking, etc. This person is struggling within themselves and is having a hard time overcoming a particular lesson. People who are in this situation require compassion, even if it is challenging to give that to them. They should not be looked down upon just because they have not learned a lesson. Instead, send them love and kindness in prayer or help them if you can. Please know, though, that it is ultimately their decision about whether or not they want to move forward with their life. You cannot control them and they cannot control you.

This may be a good week for taking a look at your own life and the lessons you have learned. Take some quiet time to assess your achievements and to look forward to the ones that are to come.

Namaste!

With Love and Light,
Karen

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

The Gift of You

Beautiful SunflowerThe major theme that emerged this week had to do with how hard we are on ourselves and how we need to take time out to appreciate who we are and all of the accomplishments that we have achieved so far during our time here on Earth. It takes a conscious effort to turn your thought patterns around because negative thinking can become a habit. It pushes its way into our lives every day, but we can choose to deflect it and even step beyond the clouds that hover in order to see the light of our own souls.

A great way to start this shift in consciousness is to write a list about all of your accomplishments in this life, as well as all of your positive attributes. Sit in a quiet spot, place your hands over your heart, and take a deep breath in and exhale out. As you exhale, tell your ego to stop the mind-chatter. Dismiss all of your everyday concerns and focus on you and your heart. If you need help focusing, ask your Angels for assistance. They will be delighted to help you with this task.

Breathe deeply at least three times, then start thinking about you and your positive accomplishments, both planned and unplanned. Think about what you have done in your life and the kindnesses you have extended, as well as the moments that made you feel good about yourself. Write them on your list. Be honest. This list is for you, not anyone else. Keep the entire list positive. If any negative thoughts intrude, push the mind chatter of the ego away and get back to your list. Once you get going, I think you will be amazed at what your list reveals.

Whenever negativity intrudes or you are feeling particularly blue, pull out your list to remind yourself of how wonderful your life really has been. Keep the list growing by adding your accomplishments, big and small, as well as positive life-altering events and moments that have brought you joy and happiness. The list will keep growing as your soul evolves.

Even though we are focusing on the positive, it is important to know that adversity and negativity does serve its purpose. It may have even led to some of the more important and happy times in your life by clearing away that which is no long useful or by pushing you to go beyond your perceived limits to help you achieve your dreams.

Without darkness, there would be no light. The problem comes in when we let it rule our lives and thoughts, making it seem as if negative experiences are the expected norm in our lives. They are not. All experiences can be learned from and utilized for good. By making a list of your accomplishments and positive attributes, you are giving yourself the opportunity to see and appreciate all of your life experiences and the gift of you.

Blessings to all of you!

With Light and Love,
Karen

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com