Your Self-Worth Is Not Measured by the Opinions of Others

Self-WorthHave you taken a non-judgmental look inside your heart and spirit to assess the traits that define the essence of who you are? Have you accepted all of those traits in a loving manner by embracing and recognizing the positive ones, and acknowledging the ones that need a little work? 

Self-Awareness and Love
Knowing who you are and loving who you are, are important factors for claiming the power within you that is rightfully yours. When you allow the negative words and actions of others to define you, you are giving other people the power to dim the light within you.

Determining the Reason behind Communications
There is a very big difference between someone providing you with constructive feedback and someone hurling insults and hurtful words at you. The clues to determining the difference are in the delivery and the motivation for the feedback.

When Love Is the Motivator
When people have your best interest at heart, they will speak to you in a respectful manner, and the thoughts they share with you come from the heart. The person who speaks with you in this manner is genuinely interested in your welfare, and would like to help you succeed.

When Fear Is the Motivator
On the opposite end of the spectrum, when people say vicious or mean things to you using sarcastic, biting, or angry tones, they are projecting their own negative feelings about themselves on you. The motivation for such behavior is based in fear. Often, it is because they envy what you possess and are afraid that they will never have it themselves. In this person’s mind, they mistakenly think that putting you down will raise themselves up. Instead of taking responsibility for themselves and their personal happiness, they lash out at you. When facing an onslaught such as this, you need to be strong enough in your own right in order to recognize the motivation behind this behavior, and to dismiss it as someone else’s fears and not a reflection of who you are.

How to Achieve the Best Results
In relationships and communications, it is love, self-love and love toward others, that creates the outcomes we desire. Coming from a place of fear or attempting to instill fear in others may temporarily achieve certain results; however, in the long-term, it eats away at the levels of trust and can ultimately destroy interpersonal relations.

How You Can Choose to React
When you encounter people who are operating from a place of fear instead of love, you can choose to dismiss their comments and hurtful behavior and move on with your life. Whether it was a momentary transgression or a more problematic aspect of someone’s behavior, try to take a more understanding and compassionate approach by knowing that each person is doing their best to grapple with the issues that we contend with on earth. We all make mistakes, and, hopefully, we learn from them. Within your heart, mind, and soul, forgive the person for their transgression, and wish them love, health, and happiness.

You Determine Your Self-Worth
All in all, when you love yourself for who you are and you operate from a standpoint of love, you can more easily recognize when someone’s behavior is motivated by his or her fears, and not genuine feedback that you should take to heart. Your self-worth is a value that is defined by you, and only you. The actions you take and the thoughts you share display to others the value you hold for yourself in your heart, mind, and spirit. Believe in you, and love who you are, because you are a beautiful light in this world who deserves an abundance of happiness and love.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

What to Do When Past Pain Resurfaces

Be at Peace with YourselfAs we go through our lives working through challenging personal situations, healing from them, and accepting them for the lessons they taught us, the old pain that you released may rise to the surface again when we least expect it. Days, months, or even years after you think you have successfully handled the feelings and emotions from the past, you may encounter a situation that is reminiscent of the ones you thought you had a handle on.

Thrown Off Balance
At first, you may be thrown off balance as thoughts and emotions from the past threaten to overwhelm you. However, you are not encountering this situation for the first time. You have already been through this, and you have already learned better ways of handling this situation. For instance, let’s say you are in a situation in which you feel that a person with a forceful personality is trying to manipulate you by insulting you, belittling you, demeaning you, or twisting your words around to suit their needs. Having dealt with this in the past, you are more likely to recognize the manipulative techniques that this person is trying to employ. While it may make you upset to find yourself dealing again with someone who displays this type of negative behavior, you may actually be handling it better than you think.

Reacting Differently through Assertiveness and Love
In this particular situation, it is important to note that the person who is attempting to be manipulative is acting from a place of fear and ego. He or she is not acting from a place of love. It is this person’s intention to force you to bend to his or her will because he or she is afraid of losing power. What this person does not realize is that the perceived power has already been given away the moment he or she decided to allow fear to take over his or her thought processes. When you recognize this, you can choose to react in a manner that does not feed into the fear that this person is projecting. By knowing who you are, you can stand up for yourself in an assertive manner, which is representative of the love that you have for yourself. It is important to note that reacting with aggression, rather than assertion, will only feed into the negative behavior of the other person and drive the situation away from a positive resolution. Stand strong and confident in the love that you have for you, and for the positive and fair resolution of the problem for all involved.

Forgiveness Ushers in Healing
Try not to be upset with yourself if you initially get angry or distraught over the circumstances you are facing. It can be very challenging to deal with situations that are similar to those that brought you pain in the past. Allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings, and then release them. Be at peace with yourself. In your heart and mind, forgive yourself and the person who treated you in this manner, and let go of toxic feelings. Holding a grudge will only serve to hurt you and prevent you from moving forward. Pray for this person’s health and happiness, and let go of the negativity by recognizing that this person has not yet learned to operate from a place of love. Your prayers may help them to move forward, which will mean one more person in this world who embraces the light and love of which we are all a part.

Help Is Available
If you need help working through the emotions and feelings that have arisen from the situation that triggered the resurfacing of past pain, ask God and your angels for help, and speak with friends and family members who are supportive of you and your goals.

Silver Linings
No matter how negative a situation may appear on the surface, there are positive reasons for why they occur in our lives. Once we have lived through the challenging circumstances, we can look back to see what we have learned and decide which route we are going to take if we encounter them again. Situations that rehash pain from the past is not a punishment, but rather an opportunity to put into practice the lessons we have learned and to confirm the growth that has taken place within our spirits.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan
Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Reacting Positively to Negative Circumstances

Cooperation

A healthy relationship is based on understanding, cooperation, and communication.

We were put here on this earth to help each other. Not everyone understands this concept. Turmoil erupts when fear overtakes emotions, driving people to take action based on such negative emotions as jealousy, greed, and selfishness. Instead of responding in kind with anger, we can break the chain of negativity by countering such behavior with understanding and kindness.

It is very challenging at times to counter negativity with positive actions because our own shock and pain need to be dealt with before we can proceed. Sometimes our first instinct is to lash out at the person or people who hurt us. If anger or pain is coloring your thoughts, take a few steps back from the source of the negativity. Look at the situation from all points of view through an honest assessment of the behaviors of both you and the party involved that led to the problem. Come up with ideas for solutions that would create the most positive resolutions for everyone involved.

First and foremost, be honest with yourself and the other person or people involved. Set up a time to talk about the situation from a standpoint of trying to resolve it in the most positive way for all. Present your ideas, actively listen to the feedback you receive, work through the issue by allowing each person to express their thoughts, and do your best to move past the problem. Remember to extend forgiveness and to release the issue, knowing that it has been resolved.

If in your contemplation or discussions, you realize that the best solution would be to end the relationship due to unreconcilable differences, bring it to close with kindness, grace, and honor. Wish them well, pray for their health and happiness, and move on with your life.

When you have your own moments of behaving badly, apologize to the person you hurt. Let them know that you are sorry and mean it by not repeating the same negative or hurtful behavior. This will go a long way toward mending your relationship. Forgive yourself, too. We are all human and make mistakes. But to be a better person, we need to learn from our mistakes and we need to treat ourselves and others with kindness.

Try to be the best person that you can be despite the turmoil around you. Take the high road and choose to counter negative situations with positive reactions. We cannot control all of the events that occur in our lives, nor can we control the behaviors of others. We can control our own actions and reactions, though, and decide to look beyond the negative behaviors of others by displaying understanding, kindness and grace in the face of adversity and turmoil. By doing so, you will notice the peace and calm in your own life. At the same time, you will be showing others that fears and turmoil are often based on misunderstandings that can be resolved, or even prevented, with compassion and empathy. In this way, we fulfill our soul contracts to help each other as we live our lives on this earth.

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com