Countering Meanness with Kindness

FriendsWhen someone is having a bad day, they may lash out at you just because you are there, not because you had done anything to invoke their anger. It is unfortunate when someone behaves in this manner; however, we are all human and, at times, our emotions get the best of us.

Reasons behind Hurtful Behavior and Our Reactions
Exhaustion, highly stressful situations, feelings of oppression, rejection, and other strongly negative contributing factors make us more susceptible to lashing out at whoever is within our vicinity. The longer a person is subjected to negative conditions, the more distraught they may become. In fact, they may not even seem to behave like themselves because they are having a hard time moving beyond a state of distress. Your instinctive response may be to fire back at the person in an effort to protect or defend yourself. This is because you may feel threatened in some way by their behavior, as anger can be perceived as an attack. It is under these conditions that people on the receiving end of a person’s negative and uncharacteristic behavior should try to take a step back before replying with more anger, which may lead to an escalated exchange of negative energies, as well as damaged or broken relationships.

Assess the Situation before Reacting
Before responding, try to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view. What is going on with them that they would lash out at you for what seems to be no reason? This behavior can be a cry for help. It can also be that this person is harboring a lot of negative feelings within themselves that they are having a hard time handling. A person who lashes out is usually feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and stress, and like anything else, that pressure needs to be relieved or it will cause an explosion. Instead of responding with anger that will feed into the existing pressure, do your best to respond with kindness and compassion, even if the person does not appreciate it at the time. In this way, you may stop the escalation of anger and prevent it from infecting you. Your understanding and empathy may be the very act of kindness this person needs to relieve their stress and realize just how badly they were behaving toward others who did not deserve it.

Ask for Assistance from Above
If you are having difficulty dispensing kindness in the face of someone else’s hurtful behavior, ask your heavenly support team to help you to increase your compassion toward others. In addition, ask them to help the person who is in distress, as they are the ones most in need of assistance. Send the distressed person love and light from your heart and spirit, and request that they receive the healing they need to relieve them of the distress and pent up anger in order to live a happy and satisfied life.

What Is Inside of You?
If you find it is you who is lashing out at others and walking around with anger in your heart and mind, then it is time to take an in-depth look at what is really bothering you, and apologize, if possible, to those that you hurt.

To discover what is going on, the first step is recognizing and identifying the true problem. For example, getting extremely angry at your partner for leaving their socks on the floor after asking them several times not to, may only be a surface trigger that signals the existence of a deeper problem, such as of a sense of not being heard or appreciated at work and at home. Often, it is miscommunications and misunderstandings that lead to problems within relationships. By examining and uncovering the true problems, you can begin to work on positive solutions to heal them.

The second step is to look for solutions that will improve the circumstances that are causing the problems. Are there actions you can take to improve your situation or remove yourself from it? If not, are there ways that you can change the way that you perceive the situations that will ease your emotional pain? It may seem as if there is no way out and that the problems are formidable; however, that line of thinking can be the product of limited thinking that is boxed in by only seeing the problem. Try your best to get past step one, and open your mind to various solutions. There are other options available. They may not always appear to be the options you want to take; however, if you can let go of your anger and stress long enough to clear your mind, you may discover that the options may lead you to better opportunities. Be sure to ask others for help. Brainstorm ideas with respected friends, family members, or colleagues. By being truthful with yourself and others as you go through this process, you will not only help yourself on a human level, but also on a soul level, as you evolve and develop through these empowering experiences.

The third step is to be kind to yourself. If you are working to the point of exhaustion, take a step back. A break from the stressful situations will allow you time to refresh and look at situations with a more relaxed state of mind. Most important of all, ask your heavenly support team of God, the archangels, past spiritual masters, spirit guides, and loved ones in spirit, to help you. They are eager to lend a hand, and will do so if you ask for their assistance and are open to receiving their help. Sometimes, too, when you leave an opening for your heavenly support team to help out, they may just solve the problem for you through the presentation of new opportunities.

Multiply the Kindness in the World
As you go throughout your day, keep in mind that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we are all doing the best we can under the circumstances that affect our lives. By countering meanness with kindness, we provide opportunities to make positive contributions that have the potential to bring healing to our lives and the lives of others.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Hypnotherapy: Does It Really work?

Hypnotherapy: Does It Really Work?Recently, I participated in a hypnotherapy session to help me to end the harmful habit of smoking cigarettes. I had known for a long time that I wanted to quit, and had tried many times, including once with success that lasted a year and a half. There are many smoking cessation products on the market; however, many of them were ineffective for me or caused negative side effects, such as nightmares or severe mood swings. Hypnotherapy, which does not utilize chemicals, seemed like a natural alternative to getting the help I needed to stop smoking.

Performing Research
I will admit that I was not sure that I could be hypnotized. I was also concerned about what hypnotherapy would require of me. Would I have to give up complete control of my mind to someone else? Because I did not know what to expect, I did my homework and researched how hypnotherapy works. I also went to a hypnotherapist that I had personally met in a professional setting, and with whom I felt comfortable.

Conscious and Awake
Contrary to popular belief, hypnotherapy does not require you to give up complete control of your mind to someone else. In fact, you are fully conscious at all times. The therapist or practitioner speaks to you in a soothing way that helps your mind and body to relax. You enter into a lucid trance state in which you are awake, yet completely relaxed. Once you are fully immersed in the lucid trance state, the practitioner then addresses your subconscious, which I refer to as the ego. To me, the session was a retraining of the way that I thought about smoking, almost as though the thoughts in my mind were being reprogrammed for a healthier lifestyle. There was nothing threatening or dangerous about this process because I could stop the session at any time. My free will was not impeded during my hypnotherapy session.

An Honest Conversation about Desired Outcomes
The topics that are addressed to your subconscious mind should be discussed at length with your practitioner and agreed upon by you prior to the session. For instance, I asked to have the thought that I am a non-smoker reinforced, and that I would not experience withdrawal symptoms or gain weight because that is what would happen to an ex-smoker, not a non-smoker. It is important to be aware of the actions or events that trigger harmful behavioral habits. To get the most out of your sessions and to achieve the best results, be very clear, upfront, and honest with your practitioner and yourself about your triggers and what you can do to work through them when they arise during the healing process.

Follow-Up at Home
Once your session or sessions are over, there is follow-up work that you must do in order to reinforce the subliminal messages that were shared with your subconscious. Your willpower and ego will come into play regarding the paths you are going to take. It is important to note that each person reacts differently to hypnotherapy. For me, I found that I have experienced some of the symptoms of physical withdrawal including brief periods of irritability, fatigue, sadness, and cravings. When the occasional craving crosses my mind, I repeat the affirmation that I love being a non-smoker and living a healthy lifestyle. By redirecting my thoughts and reaffirming my purpose, it helps me to overcome and move past the momentary craving. As a last resort, I chew a piece of nicotine replacement gum or utilize an electronic cigarette that delivers vaporized nicotine without harmful smoke or additives. It is important to note that I also had to retrain my mind with all of the activities that I perform each day. Having a plan in place to deal with my triggers, such as chewing a piece of sugar-free gum after a meal, helped me to bypass the past behavior of smoking after eating.

Treat Yourself with Kindness
As I am adjusting to my new lifestyle, I being kind to myself by giving myself time to adapt to the changes and to take it easy. I am in the process of breaking a habit and an addiction that I had been performing for more than 20 years. Patience, kindness, and understanding is needed as your mind, body, and spirit heals and adjusts to significant changes in behavior.

The Incredible Power of Thought
In my book, How Have You Loved?, I talk about how our thoughts truly determine our destinies. How you think and what you think greatly impacts the outcomes of situations in your life. Hypnotherapy taps directly into the basis of our thoughts in order to redirect them toward more positive outcomes.

Some people may ask, why I did not just make the decision to quit smoking and do so cold turkey? I can say with great confidence that I knew I needed additional help with the adjustment to my thought processes about smoking, as well as the physical addiction. I had tried to quit on my own several times and failed; however, I was not ready to give up. I am not afraid of admitting that I needed extra help, or asking for it. Had I not been truthful with myself, I would still be where I was and I might have had a more difficult time ridding myself of that harmful habit. There is no shame in admitting you need assistance with a challenging task, such as overcoming an addiction. By asking for help, it shows your willingness to get the help you need in order to get your life on a more positive and healthy path.

A Natural Alternative for Success
Hypnotherapy can help you to overcome or to better manage behaviors that are unhealthy or causing disruption in your life, such as smoking, phobias, or eating disorders. As you would when finding a new doctor, be sure to research the practitioner or therapist that you are interested in seeing. Ask trusted friends, colleagues, and family members for recommendations and search online for reviews. Learn about the particular practice you are interested in visiting, as well as the success rates. Ask questions before booking your appointment in order to know what to expect from your session or sessions.

It is important to note that most, but not all people, will benefit from hypnotherapy. It all depends on you and your willingness to be open to thought suggestions, and to follow through on your own with the reinforcing actions and affirmations provided by your practitioner after your session. With determination, self-love, and a willingness to be a healthier you, success is entirely possible.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,

Karen T. Hluchan
Spirit Medium, Motivational Speaker, Reiki Master, & Author of How Have You Loved?

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

As a note, I have a book signing event coming up this Saturday, March 8th from 2pm-4pm at the Horsham Library in Pennsylvania. To learn more about this and other upcoming events, visit my website at www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com and click on the news or events tabs.

The Benefits of Building a Strong Relationship with God

Peace ValleyWhen you build a close relationship with God, you begin to see things through his eyes. It is a bond that is forged in love and nurtured through continual communication and trust. By stepping back and putting your complete faith in God and the outcome of all of your affairs, you are inviting him into your life with loving trust and friendship. As your relationship deepens, you begin to see how God truly does oversee your growth as a soul and how he steers your course as you navigate your way through this lifetime.

Great Plans
God already knows what your goals are and what you are to accomplish while you are here. That was carefully planned with your consent before you were born on this Earth. Your destiny includes a series of soul contracts that define the lessons that you are to learn. How you accomplish them, and if you do, is entirely up to you. Awareness of your contracts, as well as the knowledge that you have gained from a multitude of lifetimes, is masked by the ego when you are born. One of the tasks that we have as a spiritual being on a human journey is to break through the veil that appears to separate us from that knowledge and the universal truths that are accessible through soul communication.

Mistakes can be Beneficial
As we live our lives every day, God lovingly watches over us. He knows the paths our lives are taking and the effects of the choices we make, as well as the best way for us to go. He sees when we deviate from that path. He exerts his power with a loving hand to guide us back to the paths that are in line with our soul plans. As a Spirit in human form, we become frustrated when we see ourselves or others going down a path that will ultimately cause more pain. With God, he views our errors and mistakes as learning lessons. It is beneficial for us to view our setbacks and missteps in the same way. God extends great love and compassion toward our souls. We give ourselves the greatest gift of kindness and love when we extend the same courtesy toward ourselves and others.

Free Will and the Effects of the Ego
As our Creator and heavenly parent, God wants what is best for us. He also knows that as his children, we must be free to make our own choices in order to exist and grow as a spiritual being. That is why we have the gift of free will. Mistakes and errors are as much a part of the process as our greatest achievements. One of the most important aspects of our soul evolvement is to stretch ourselves beyond what we perceive to be our boundaries and limitations. To do that, we need to find the courage that is stored within ourselves to overcome the effects of the ego.

On Earth, we have been given the ego as a part of our human existence. It is the negative voice that challenges our decisions by injecting counterproductive thoughts into our heads. This is the voice of fear that impregnates our mind with doubts and worries. That voice was placed within our minds as a challenge to be overcome. When we elected to come down to Earth to live this lifetime, we did so in order to speed up the evolution of our souls. In Heaven, ego and fear do not exist. We learn lessons for the evolvement of our souls; however, it is from a completely different perspective.

We cannot escape from the ego while on Earth but we can learn to manage it, work with it, and minimize its negative effects. Recognition and acknowledgement of the negative thoughts and fears as an illusion is the first step in negating its effects. When you know within your heart that it is only a mechanism that is meant to challenge you, you can face it with positive determination and thoughts that override its influence.

It is a lifelong challenge to learn how to manage the ego because the ego only disappears completely when our physical bodies expire. However, managing its effects becomes easier over time if you work diligently to recognize its encroachment upon your happiness. We are not meant to live a life of misery, but one of joy and happiness. Our dreams are achievable in this lifetime. The only thing that holds us back are the illusions of fear that are planted there by our egos.

He is with You Always
You are not alone on your journey. God is there to oversee and lovingly direct your path. The best way to hear him is to invite him into your life. Speak with him, pray to him and with him, share your thoughts and your gratitude, ask for guidance, and be open to his answers. God resides within you. He does not punish you with seemingly negative situations. Some circumstances are part of a soul contract while others are the result of how we treat ourselves and others. Negative thoughts and actions ripple across the Earth, causing reactions and events that directly affect our lives. God sees this happening. He intervenes when it is appropriate for him to do so. There are times when lessons need to be learned. At those times, it may seem as though he is not listening or that he is punishing you with hurtful or painful situations. You might even ask “Why doesn’t he save me from this experience?” He may not be removing you from it because, if he did, it may hamper your growth as a soul and hurt you more in the long run.

When you feel that you are in need of assistance, call on God to help you get through the tough situations you face and be open to his guidance. The Archangels are there for you, too. Still the fears within yourself by embracing the love of God and know that he will ensure the best outcome for you. It may not be the outcome you had hoped and prayed for, but then again, maybe it will. Remain calm and feel the peace within your heart that is given with grace to you by God. His love permeates your being at all times. When you push past the negativity of the ego, you can feel love in its purest form. It is a glorious feeling of divine joy that is almost overwhelming in its power. When you experience it, you will know that it is sent to you directly from God.

Enjoy Your Life
As you build your relationship with God, your trust and faith are rewarded with spiritual strength, love, knowledge, and peace. As a result, you may find yourself emulating the very characteristics that God displays toward you, including a significant capacity to extend love, forgiveness, understanding, and compassion toward yourself and others.

My heart has found great peace through my relationship with God and it has transformed my life in ways I never even dreamed were possible. Share your love with God today and let him into your heart. In this way, you can experience the beauty and benefits of your divine relationship with God, our Creator, for yourself.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan
Spirit Medium & Reiki Master

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Bringing Out the Best in Yourself and Others

Joshua and FrankPeople thrive when compassion and love is extended toward them. I have always said that all Spirit needs, both here and in Heaven, is compassion and love.

People are fascinating. I love learning about each individual that I meet because everyone has such interesting and incredible stories, as well as talents and abilities, that bring wonder and light to this world. What I find, though, is that people get so caught up in negativity and everyday concerns that they forget all of those wonderful qualities that they do have and they forget to take the time to enjoy the activities that make their souls sing.

When interacting with people, be it the cashier at the convenience store or your best friend, the more genuine you are with yourself, the more you are genuine with others. It doesn’t matter if it is a one-minute or one-hour conversation, just be yourself and your own light will already be shining. When this happens, there is an ease of knowing who you are that allows you to speak with others from the heart. It is amazing to see how people light up and open up when you speak from your heart to their heart…you can see how their light shines brighter around them.

Heartfelt communication is about empathy, relating, listening, sharing and responding. Understanding and compassion come through when you take the time to truly acknowledge a fellow soul. It is the kindness that you bestow upon others in your interactions that uplift another soul, as well your own.

If you are having a bad day and your mood is really sour, try to take a moment before you spread that negativity to the next person you meet. Acknowledge to yourself that you are having a rough time and let go of the angst. If you need to talk to a friend to help you work through the issues, do just that. As for the many people you come into contact with throughout your day, do your best to consciously decide not to pass on that black cloud to someone else. Again, if you need help getting through a rough patch, ask for help from your friends and family. That is one of the reasons why they are in your life, to help you and for you to help them as we work though the many complex issues and lessons that we learn as our souls evolve.

The next time you meet someone, speak from the heart. Ask how they are doing and mean it. Think about what it is like to be them and what it would mean to you if someone was genuinely interested in what you had to say. You will be amazed at how easy it is to connect with other souls on a genuine level and how good it feels to be yourself. The person you communicate with benefits as well, because you are giving them the gift of compassion which brightens their day.

Namaste!

With Light and Love,
Karen

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Reasons for Being

Peaceful SanctuaryThe theme that emerged from
Spirit this week revolved around life lessons and the reason why certain people enter into our lives.

We come here to this Earth to learn lessons that will help our souls to evolve. We choose what lessons we will learn before we are born into this world; however, the way in which the situations will come about are yet to be determined. While we are making these decisions, members of our soul group, as well as others, volunteer to help with certain lessons and you volunteer to help with theirs. This is what is known as a soul contract.

Certain people enter our lives to help us fulfill our soul contracts. For instance, someone may opt to pass away at the age of 27 in order to help members of their soul group to learn how to cope with tragedy, as well to understand that death is not the end of the Spirit because the love that connects us never dies.

Others may help us to learn to overcome the fear that holds us back from realizing our dreams. Most soul contracts involve a complex set of lessons that serve multiple purposes for multiple people. When we are born, the knowledge and awareness that we had about the contracts we made in Heaven is obscured from us. This is because it is part of our journey as a soul; to rediscover the reasons why we are here. The more we seek out the depth and breadth of this knowledge, the more in tune we are with our life purposes and can more readily see the lessons that we are learning and sharing.

Free will always plays a role in whether or not the lessons you have chosen to learn will be completed. That is why the way in which they come into your life is left to be decided by your choices. If you chose not to learn a particular lesson, whether consciously or subconsciously, it will come back to you repeatedly in this lifetime. For instance, if fear is blocking you from manifesting your dreams, situations will come up that will help to teach you about overcoming your fears such as conversations with others, books that you read, etc. (Note: The Angels and God are continuously giving you the tools you need to succeed with your soul’s evolvement. It is your choice whether or not to listen.) The time will come for you to put what you have learned into action. If you succeed, you will move forward onto the next lesson. If you do not, it will prevent you from moving forward in your life.

A prime example of this may be in someone you know, it may even be yourself. This person seems to struggle and be stuck in a pattern, whether it be harmful relationships, addictions, negative thinking, etc. This person is struggling within themselves and is having a hard time overcoming a particular lesson. People who are in this situation require compassion, even if it is challenging to give that to them. They should not be looked down upon just because they have not learned a lesson. Instead, send them love and kindness in prayer or help them if you can. Please know, though, that it is ultimately their decision about whether or not they want to move forward with their life. You cannot control them and they cannot control you.

This may be a good week for taking a look at your own life and the lessons you have learned. Take some quiet time to assess your achievements and to look forward to the ones that are to come.

Namaste!

With Love and Light,
Karen

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com

Reacting Positively to Negative Circumstances

Cooperation

A healthy relationship is based on understanding, cooperation, and communication.

We were put here on this earth to help each other. Not everyone understands this concept. Turmoil erupts when fear overtakes emotions, driving people to take action based on such negative emotions as jealousy, greed, and selfishness. Instead of responding in kind with anger, we can break the chain of negativity by countering such behavior with understanding and kindness.

It is very challenging at times to counter negativity with positive actions because our own shock and pain need to be dealt with before we can proceed. Sometimes our first instinct is to lash out at the person or people who hurt us. If anger or pain is coloring your thoughts, take a few steps back from the source of the negativity. Look at the situation from all points of view through an honest assessment of the behaviors of both you and the party involved that led to the problem. Come up with ideas for solutions that would create the most positive resolutions for everyone involved.

First and foremost, be honest with yourself and the other person or people involved. Set up a time to talk about the situation from a standpoint of trying to resolve it in the most positive way for all. Present your ideas, actively listen to the feedback you receive, work through the issue by allowing each person to express their thoughts, and do your best to move past the problem. Remember to extend forgiveness and to release the issue, knowing that it has been resolved.

If in your contemplation or discussions, you realize that the best solution would be to end the relationship due to unreconcilable differences, bring it to close with kindness, grace, and honor. Wish them well, pray for their health and happiness, and move on with your life.

When you have your own moments of behaving badly, apologize to the person you hurt. Let them know that you are sorry and mean it by not repeating the same negative or hurtful behavior. This will go a long way toward mending your relationship. Forgive yourself, too. We are all human and make mistakes. But to be a better person, we need to learn from our mistakes and we need to treat ourselves and others with kindness.

Try to be the best person that you can be despite the turmoil around you. Take the high road and choose to counter negative situations with positive reactions. We cannot control all of the events that occur in our lives, nor can we control the behaviors of others. We can control our own actions and reactions, though, and decide to look beyond the negative behaviors of others by displaying understanding, kindness and grace in the face of adversity and turmoil. By doing so, you will notice the peace and calm in your own life. At the same time, you will be showing others that fears and turmoil are often based on misunderstandings that can be resolved, or even prevented, with compassion and empathy. In this way, we fulfill our soul contracts to help each other as we live our lives on this earth.

With Light and Love,
Karen T. Hluchan

www.HealingSpiritWithLove.com